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New beginnings, Volume 3:

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Introduction

Contents New Beginnings Ruth Allison Contributors Ruth Allison A note Ruth Allison

Poetry

Spark Ruth Allison The Lovers Ruth Allison Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Ruth Allison Skinny Dipping Ruth Allison The Funeral Ruth Allison Inflamed Currents of Mind Ruth Allison Mental Rot Ruth Allison Kill the Moonlight Ruth Allison A Warning to Boys who Angle Ruth Allison Myself Ruth Allison Me Mum Ruth Allison a map of Yemen and others (2020) Ruth Allison The Backwards Year Ruth Allison Precious, of the essence Ruth Allison A zoo in my room Ruth Allison Isolation Ruth Allison Speak up, Speak out! Ruth Allison Uni Days Ruth Allison uni grad boat Ruth Allison In Time Ruth Allison Eden Ruth Allison 03.08 Ruth Allison 03:30 Ruth Allison My Alexander Ruth Allison Validation Ruth Allison You Make me So Sad Ruth Allison The Son Drawn from Water Ruth Allison Visitors at Allah’s House Ruth Allison

Short-story

No Man’s Gallery Ruth Allison Necromanitc Ruth Allison Gemini Ruth Allison 70s Ruth Allison Aqua Ruth Allison Bilston Ruth Allison A letter to the Prehistoric Woman who painted rock art at Bhimbetka Caves Ruth Allison

Me Mum

Ruth Allison

At thirteen, I was led to believe that my relationship with my mother

should be strained with inflicted difficulties.

After all, teen cinema had presented the Ritualistic Kitchen Kick-Off,

instructed to be recreated for all of the street to hear.

And I did, frequently.

By the tender age of three, I’d master the art of the argument-

Yes, my earliest memory is screaming “my Mummy’s trying to kill me!” down the telephone, simply because I didn’t fancy fish pie for me tea.

I’m sorry.

I mean, in hindsight, its definitely a good thing that the receiver of that phone call

was only me Aunty,

alternatively,

Me Mum wouldn’t have been there to tuck me up into bed

That evening, sending me off to The Land of Nod with a story, all issues resolved.

A soft kiss on the forehead.

She wouldn’t have been there to repeat that routine through my childhood.

Her child as old as eleven,

I’d keep her awake when secondary school made it too hard for me to

shut off my head after half-eight.

Embarrassingly, I’d soon find safety under her duvet rather than my own.

She wouldn’t have drove me to Sixth Form Hell every day, ensuring that I attended,

Calming my every anxiety as I breathed in square shapes, stomach

cramped in the passenger seat.

Calming my every anxiety on July evening drives through dense forestry

when I wanted nothing more than for

my world to stop spinning.

It didn’t.

She, Me Mum, would never have had to hear five words slip my through my,

Her daughter’s, lips that no mother alive should ever have to hear.

Five words of fear, guilt, desperation.

Five words to end my existence.

I remember ever so little of that teatime, but before then

I never realised, appreciated, how five words could change two lives.

Our relationship, no longer strained in ways I strived for at thirteen

feels strong as her soft arms hold my soul so tightly.

We’re overcoming odds as she soothers, cradles the toddler-fear in my eyes and,

for the first time in months,

I feel loved, truly.

Strength and bravery, that’s all I can see in all her glory-

Me, Me Mum, Michelle- That’s all that she is to me.

Editors for Me Mum not yet setup.

New beginnings, Volume 3:

New Beginnings is our third and final volume of 2020. It is also our longest yet, with close to 100 pieces having been sent in for review from over 80 writers. Additionally, this volume marks a step towards making our initiative even more inclusive, having opened submissions for art and photography, too.

2021 may not be the new beginning for which we are all hoping. In fact, it is likely that the world will stay largely the same. However, that doesn’t stop us doing what we can to make it a little better. In supporting and being involved in an initiative whose primary motivation is to build one another up, our team and readership have certainly proven to be committed to making positive change already.

First published by Ta Voix 2020